RECONCILE

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RECONCILE: Truth Be Told - Kimz Pondosities™

What happens when we stop leaving?

What happens when we stop turning away from ourselves, from God, and from one another?

What happens when we stay?

Last month, we explored the word repent — not as punishment, but as a return.

Repent turns us toward what is true.

Reconcile invites us to remain with it.

Turning toward truth is not the end of the work.

Reconciliation asks something more difficult:

to stay long enough for a relationship to be repaired, reordered — or when necessary, released with integrity — rather than escaping the discomfort that truth often brings.

Repent is the turning.

Reconcile is the staying.

Reconciliation is not agreement.

It is not pretending.

It is not erasing harm or rushing resolution.

Reconcile is what happens after truth has already been acknowledged — when the impulse to withdraw, defend, or disappear arises, and we choose something else.

It is the willingness to remain present rather than retreating.

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Valentine’s Day as Reconciliation

In this month of February, when Valentine’s Day is celebrated, it is worth taking a closer look at what this day actually reflects.

Valentine’s Day is not the proof of love.

It is the mirror.

A mirror does not create what we see — it simply reveals what already exists, whether we are prepared to look at it or not.

If we cannot treat one another with kindness, respect, and care on ordinary days — in fatigue, misunderstanding, repair, and restraint — then a single day of flowers and cards does not represent devotion.

It represents distraction.

Love that reconciles is practiced daily.

It shows up when there is nothing to perform, nothing to prove, and no audience watching.

At its best, Valentine’s Day simply reflects a life already lived in integrity — where love is not reserved for special occasions, but expressed through consistency, commitment, and the willingness to repair.

Reconciliation is not a February 14th event.

It is a daily one.

It is not seasonal.

It is relational.

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Reconciling with Oneself

Reconciling with oneself begins with integrity — not perfection, not pressure, not performance — but honesty about where we have abandoned our own word.

There have been times I did not choose that integrity.

Times I delayed what mattered.

Times I said later —

later I’ll take care of this,

later I’ll speak up,

later I’ll finish what I started,

later I’ll honor what I know I need.

Later became a way of postponing myself.

 I didn’t abandon myself loudly. I abandoned myself to other people’s truth — to what they told me, about me. I did it politely. Reasonably. With good excuses and with compliance. Not because I lacked questions, but because I questioned deeply and wanted understanding. I didn’t take their words at face value; I wanted explanation, reason, and evidence.

When those questions went unanswered — and the words continued — I began, slowly and silently, to internalize them. Not all at once, but gradually. Believing the lie became easier than arguing for a truth I could not draw out of them. Eventually, this showed up as subtle self-sabotage — something I didn’t even label, as such, for decades.

Reconciliation with oneself deepens when we stop negotiating against our own knowing.

It is the decision to no longer disappoint ourselves in quiet ways that no one else can see.

This kind of reconciliation calls into question self-sabotage — and the ways we fail to honor the glorious being we are, and were created to be.

Reconciling with oneself is not harsh.

It is steady.

It is the return to keeping our word — first, and most faithfully — to ourselves.

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Personal Practice

Reconciliation has become a daily practice for me.

If it isn’t with myself, it’s with God.

If it isn’t with God, it’s with others.

And often, it’s with all three at once.

Reconciliation is not a dramatic event in my life.

It is how I stay honest, aligned, and at peace — day by day.

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Reconciling with God

Reconciling with God is not about earning favor or correcting behavior.

It is about ending distance.

Distance created by fear.

Distance created by shame.

Distance created by the belief that we must first fix ourselves before we are allowed to return.

Reconciliation with God begins when we stop hiding — not only from God, but from ourselves.

It is the willingness to be fully seen without explanation or defense.

Truth does not separate us from God.

Truth draws us toward God — because God is the author of truth, and truth is safe in His presence.

Reconciliation here is not about perfection.

It is about relationship.

 “We love, because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19, AMP)

Reconciliation is not the effort to become lovable.

It is the response to having been loved first.

Love does not begin with our faithfulness.

It begins with His.

I have known God personally and relationally since I was very young — not distantly, not abstractly, but as a lived relationship. And yet, because of emotional and verbal harm early in life and its continuation across many decades, it took me decades to internalize what being loved first truly meant — not as a belief or an idea, but as a lived reality.

This was never about my ability to love others. I loved freely long before I understood that I was already held. To many who knew my story and witnessed me growing up, that seemed like a miracle — and I was often told that my ability to love was a miracle.

What I had not yet learned was how to receive love in a way that allowed me to live from it. To internalize it. To let it form my relationship with myself. Only recently have I begun to understand that love cannot simply be expressed outward — it must first be embodied inward.

We, as people, cannot radiate or mirror what we refuse to receive.

We can liken this imagery to a flower.

The outer petals are the first to open and the last to close — responding to light and warmth, learning when it is safe to breathe and when protection is needed.

Blossoming is a living process, in both us and in nature — and this process can change everything. 

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Faith, Trust, and the Question of Order

We often ask: Which comes first — faith or trust?

Like the question of the chicken and the egg, the answer depends on where we are standing.

Faith is the posture.

Trust is the practice.

Faith can exist without trust.

Trust cannot exist without faith.

In moments of rupture or disappointment, faith often comes first — a quiet knowing, a remembering, a pull toward truth even when evidence feels thin.

Trust is rebuilt more slowly, through consistency, reliability, and lived experience.

Reconciliation is where faith matures into trust — not through force, but through remaining.

Faith opens the door.

Trust learns to stay in the room.

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Blind Faith and True Faith

Blind faith is not the same as faith.

Blind faith asks us to ignore what we see, feel, or know — to suppress questions and bypass experience in the name of belief.

True faith does not require blindness.

It requires honesty.

Blind faith says, “Don’t look.”

True faith says, “Look — and remain.”

Blind faith often skips reconciliation.

True faith requires it.

True faith allows unanswered prayers without abandoning relationship.

It allows disappointment to be held rather than spiritualized away.

Reconciliation does not ask for blind faith.

It asks for open-eyed faith — willing to stay, repair, and restore trust over time.

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Reconciling with Others

Reconciling with others is not limited to the people we love.

Often, it is required with people we work with, collaborate with, or compete alongside — relationships where affection is not the foundation, but responsibility and integrity still matter.

Reconciliation does not require emotional closeness.

It requires common ground — enough for the relationship to function with honesty, respect, and accountability.

Not every reconciliation is mutual.

Not every relationship can be restored to what it once was.

Sometimes reconciliation looks like repair.

Sometimes it looks like reordering expectations.

Sometimes it looks like release.

In all cases, reconciliation asks us to stop perpetuating injury — toward others and toward ourselves.

It is not about winning relationship.

It is about restoring integrity.

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 Etymology of Reconcile

The word reconcile comes from the Latin reconciliare.

• re- — again, back, return
• conciliare — to bring together, to unite

(from concilium, meaning a council or coming together)

To reconcile means to bring back into relationship —

not by erasing what happened, but by acknowledging rupture and considering return.

At its root, reconciliation assumes separation has occurred.

It then asks what is possible now —

repair, reordering, or release —

without denial, force, or pretense.

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Closing Reflection

Reconciliation — with oneself, with God, and with others — is not a single act or moment of resolution,

but a way of remaining present, honest, and anchored in truth over time.

Remaining honest.

Remaining attentive.

Remaining anchored in truth, even when outcomes are uncertain.

Repent turns us toward what is true.

Reconcile invites us to remain there long enough for truth to do its healing work.

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Pause & Contemplate

Where in your life are you being invited not just to see the truth — but to stand in it courageously, firmly, and without turning away?

Pause & Center

What happens in your body and in your mind when you stop pushing — and allow yourself to rest in what is real and true?

Pause & Commit

What is one small way you can keep your word to yourself this week — without urgency, desperation, or force?

Consider

What might change if reconciliation became a way of living — rather than something you feel pressured to complete?

 💜💜💜